Don't you know me, I wont ever let you down...

WooHoo! I FINALLY got a picture uploaded of my big ol' belly on this dial-up internet. This is week 36 I think... notice my huge tattoo! It wasnt that big before Alyvia came into our lives, lol.

Ever since my 2nd false alarm, I've had dreams about her being here... sometimes I wake up with tears in my eyes, but all in all, each day I wake up I hope its the day she finally arrives. I cannot express into words how much she means to me already. The reason I get up, try to be a better person, and wanna give her a better life. Right now, I'm just waiting for my little blessing to arrive.

This week has been filled of nothing-ness. The snow has made it impossible to go anywhere or do anything, including my doctor's appointment. SO I've been cleaning and organizing... it doesn't seem to get me anywhere though...

Friday night I might go stay with my mom and to my brother's basketball game Saturday afternoon.

Sweetdreams!

False Alarm #2.

Yep, another false alarm.

We went to Ikea yesterday (Talea, Russell, Tash, Josh, Me) to do some shopping and it took us 4 hrs to get thru the store. Well those 4 hours started kicking in when we left around 3:30 and I started contracting. We were timing them.. they were about 5 - 10 mintues apart, and I was having at least 6 an hr. We got home and I waited them out for a few hours... they werent unbarable but I decided to call my doctor. They said to come in. Long story short, I WAS contracting (and still am), they only monitored me for an hour and decided I was too early and not dilated enough so they sent me home within an hour... I was sooooo mad. I'm still mad.

Today has been okay, still contracting but I'm able to manage them. Let's hope I don't have too much longer!

Its snowing like crazy! I kinda wanna go out and play in it.. :)

Remember When.

My doctor's appt went well today. I am 60% effaced, thank goodness! The effacing is more important than the dialation right now, so I was really happy to hear that. My doctor said they'd like to keep her in my belly for about another week, but if I went into labor they wouldn't stop it. She also said there is no way I'll make it to my actual due date. As long as I'm full term and Alyvia is healthy enough to come out, then thats fine with me!

Today I've really thought about how it feels like just yesterday we found out we were expecting. I remember the first person I told other than Dev, how emotional I was... I just sat on the front porch and cried because I was so scared. We've had bumps in the road since then, but everything has definitely fell into place.

This new year is gonna be so eventful... I'm gonna be a Mommy, aunt and cousin!! So many new babies in so little time. It's gonna be fuuuunn :)

I'm gonna take a nap now!

FULL TERM !

As of Thursday, I will be 36 weeks! I couldn't be more ready. Its time to start progressing this labor!!

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment, then I start going every week. I had my 'sudden burst of energy' today... it lead to me cleaning the entire house, almost finishing the laundry, making Dev get rid of some clothes, and cooking dinner! Its supposed to mean that labor is just around the corner...lets hope! I told Dev we needed to take an extra empty bag to the hospital cuz they give you supplies and they refill the dresser drawers when you run out, so we need to load up!! I'm definitely trying nursing... but if it doesn't work out then I'm taking advantage of the formula they give me!

We have our birth plan all written out... it's pretty simple but its just a precaution. I'm gonna go with the walking epidural around 5 or so centimeters, and if I just simply can't handle the pain they better drug me up!

Mom bought the stroller! I love love love it... Everything is set and ready to go! We just gotta put the carseat in Dev's car.

I've been searching for Birth Announcements and found a few that I really really like. They're at this neat website called Cuddle Bug Announcements. I'm gonna keep searching around for like a week and see if I can decide :) My cousin's wife recommended Kodak Gallery, so we'll see!

Also, I've been thinking about if it was difficult finding a job in March/April what other alternatives are available. My mom used to clean houses for extra money and she did really well, and cleaning doesn't really bother me... so if I did like 4 or so houses a week for $75 each depending on the amount of time it took me, that'd be good extra money each month! We'll see how it all works out.

I'm tired, and something just died in Hershey's butt, so I'll blog more later!

No Progress.

Unfortunately, Alyvia still hasn't arrived :( I'm really uncomfortable, in pain, and can barely get out of bed though! It is sooo soo soo hard for me to roll out of bed in the morning. Devon thinks its funny, but it is so NOT. I just pray that she's not in there for too much longer. Yesterday Devon's friend Adam took us to Babies R Us and bought us a pack and play! It's too cute. And we also got a really cute sailor outfit for Alyvia to wear on the 4th of July...we still have a few gift cards left, but I'm trying to save them for emergencies. And my mom is taking me to get her stroller tomorrow!!!! I'm so so so so so so excited! The only thing we don't have is a swing, but mom has 2 and said we can have one.

Today was my Aunt's baby shower. She's about a week behind me. Her and her husband had a 3D ultrasound done; the pictures are so cool. I think me and Dev are getting one done within the next week or so!

My next doctor's appointment is Wednesday. I get tested for Group B strep and hopefully they'll be able to tell me how much time I really do have left (if I make it til then!).

We are planning a family vacation in July and hopefully next December/January. My mom is going to Myrtle Beach in July and said we could come along! And in late December we are gonna try to fly out to California to visit some family.

I'm hoping we'll be able to afford our own place in Mayish or so... :)

False Alarm #1.

So this morning at about 3, I woke up in a puddle of liquid. My first thought, 'my water broke'. There is no no no way I peed the bed; I havent since I've been like 3 and why would I get up every other time to use the bathroom but not then? I woke Talea up, she called Devon (he was at the fire house) while I called my Doctor and my mom. The doctor said it CLEARLY sounded like my membranes ruptured and to come in ASAP. I was shaking, on the verge of crying, and trying to go over in my head all the relaxation techniques. When I got up and walked, well RAN, to the bathroom, it went down my leg... ewwww.... I called my mom and the first thing she said was NO SHIT. It was funny but we both started crying. Dev got home quickly and we headed to the hospital.

Contractions midly started on the way up there, but nothing I couldnt handle. We got there safe, I was admitted, and soon enough they tested me to see if it was my water that broke....NOPE. Okay, I'm not an idiot. YES it did. They waited about another hour, kept me on the monitor, I was contracting every 10 minutes or so, and finally tested me again...NOPE. AHHHHH. Are you kidding me right now? By this time it was 6:30AM... They gave me a shot to STOP the contractions (apparently I wasnt effaced or dialated enough, but can they really rely on that when they checked me twice within an hour?) and discharged me.

They delivered like 10 babies within a few hours, and honestly I dont think they wanted to deliver another one. I'm so mad.

Just as long as I have you right here by me<3

I'm blessed.

These past few days I've realized how beautiful life really is. Especially with the people I share it with. I"ve been too busy being so stressed about money, jobs, getting our own place, school, friends, etc that I forgot to stop and remember what I have, what is on the way, and how happy I really am.

Don't get me wrong, having more money would be nice, finding a job soon after Alyvia is here would help greatly... And the sooner we could find our own place that we can afford, I'd feel more like we were a family once she arrived. But all that will come when its supposed to. Just keep praying... at least thats what I tell myself to do.

There are soooo many things I want to do. Start giving back to those who are less fortunate, spend more time with my mom, embrace the simple things in life, go to church again, make up lost time with old friends, be more organized, start enjoying school, remember that one day it'll all be okay, tell my wonderful fiance I love him more often, cry when I feel the need to even if its just a happy cry, read laugh and smile more, plan my wedding!!! The list goes on and on.

While I'm beginning to do all of that, I also need to take the time to remember the things I do have; I am so thankful/grateful/fortuate for:

1. My childhood friend, fiance, father of my child, soul mate Devon Jasper. Last night made me realize how lucky I am. He slept on my belly and I couldn't help but think that life couldn't get any better. He talked to Alyvia; told her he missed her and that it was time to come out now. It made me laugh... He means everything to me.
2. My daughter, who even though she isn't physically here yet, has made an incredible impact on my life. I can't wait to make more memories with her...
3. Family. My mom is my hidden strength. She has been through SO jmuch and made SO many sacrifices. I feel blessed that Alyvia has such a strong woman as a role model.
My brothers and sister. Errr they drive me nutts sometimes, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Devon's family. His mom, dad and sister have done so much for us. I could never thank them enough.
4. My future. I cannot wait to walk down the aisle, purchase our own house, finish my degree, and watch my family grow.

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I had a WIC appt today and got approved! Whew.
Tonight Dev works at the fire house so I think I might go to my brother's basketball game depending on the weather.
And this weekend we might have to make a trip to good ol' Logan and take care of some of my car loan stuff, maybe pay a visit to an old family friend.
Sunday is my Aunt's baby shower!!! I can't believe how many new babies are gonna be here this year.

LOVVVEEEE, LOVE, LOVE.

One of the Best Days of my Life.

As you all know, my (technically Alyvia's) Baby Shower was yesterday. Mom did an awesome job with everything... the food, decorations, cake... it was all sooo good. I showed up about an hour or so early to help her set up; she ordered the cake from Lindsey's Bakery, mmm mmm mmm :) Finger foods were the way to go, especially with the huge turnout we had. There were at least 50 people there, inculding family I haven't seen in so long and friends from Logan Elm.

It took a lot for me not to cry. We all introuduced ourselves and said how they knew me... Mom couldn't say a lot without crying either. And the gifts. Ohhh my goodness the gifts. I never realized how blessed I am. Bouncer, car seat, onsies, shoes, adorable outfits, bottles. blankets, socks, bath stuff... the list goes on and on. We only had one big duplicate and a few little ones. Tasha helped put together her room after the shower (thanks so much!) Her room is all ready. Wait, WHAT? I can't believe I just said that... It's officially hit me that I'm gonna be a mommy! And devon a daddy! I'm 34 weeks along...sore, tired, crampy, stuffy...but nothing can get in the way of me being so excited to meet my little girl.

On another note, I'm officially back in school. Whew. Right now I'm only taking one class, but just until Kent transfers my credits and I can qualify for financial aid. I do need to figure out how I'm gonna pay for the class Im taking now tho...

So, I'm definitely gonna be busy... baby busy, puppy busy, school busy... And Devon is gonna be working like crazy...

Keep in touch cuz the big day is quickly approaching!

It's shower time!!!

I can hardly believe it! Tomorrow at 1 is my shower and mom said she got lots and lots of RSVPs! I am so excited! I have a feeling I'll cry... and so will my mom. So if she cries, I'm a goner. It'll be lots of fun tho :)

Tonight we were supposed to have a tour at 6 at Riverside, but the lady didn't show up! I was so upset...grrrrr. Just something else for me to be stressed out about.

I have a few things to do, thank-yous to write, and tomorrow at 11:30AM I'm meeting my mom and helping her set up at the church.

Short and sweet, but I'll blog later!