Better days!

My last post...I was having a horrible day. I will probably elaborate on it more in a later post...but I dont really think anyone reads this anyway so I guess it doesnt matter! LOL.

Devon got a new job at OSUMC as a Paramedic in the ER. You can tell he's going to love it. He'll be working mainly 7p-7a 3 nights a week, with plenty of opportunity for overtime. All the schooling is finally worth it!

Alyvia is growing into this little young lady and it makes me smile all the time. She's very girly when it comes to fashion...she LOVES necklaces, bracelets, hair bows (which she calls 'pretties') and shoes. She loves to get all dressed up and push around her baby stoller. At the same time, she'll go outside all dressed up, then pick up a handful of dirt. Love it.

She is beginning to say her name. She does a pretty good job! It sounds more like 'LivleeA!'

She is in LOVE with the movie Monsters Inc. We watch it once a day...she'll grab the dvd case and walk up to us growling...thats her way of asking to watch it. 'RAWRRRR peeeese!'

Ring around the rosey is her new thing. She loves to spin around in circles and then yell DOWN really loud.

She loves the swing, slide and her water table...and her pet bunny! She calls it 'ba ba nunny'. SO funny.

We got her first pair of Nikes. They make her look so big.

She is in the 40th percentile in her height....but not on the chart for her weight. Oh well!

This past Thursday, we spent the majority of the night in the ER. She basically had an asthma attack. She was breathing twice as many reps as she needed to. They prescribed her an inhaler and steriods. She is much better.

Zoe's birthday party was totally cute. She got lots of goodies and mommy (Tash) did a great job decorating. It has my head spinning with ideas for Alyvia's 2nd birthday already!

We are having a house warming party Sept 4th...so excited for everyone to finally see it :)

'Remember what matters'...thats what Ive been living by these past few days. I love me some words of inspiration.

Secrets.

This isnt necessarily a secret, just something I hate talking about, or admitting to...or even thinking about. I need to vent about it, and feel like not many people listen, or understand...so I'm blogging about it.


Let Down.
Thats something I've been used to. From before I was even born. When my mom was expecting me, my dad wasnt around. When I was born, he didnt want to be in the DR. The earliest memory I have with him...seeing my mom walk up the stairs with a bloody lip. I think I was about 3. Glass thrown at walls, holes in the wall, cops at the house, hitting instead of spanking, yelling instead of talking, fights with my uncle, broken arms, broken hearts...thats what I got from my dad. Nothing but being let down. I dont remember the last kiss I had from him, I dont remember the last time he called. I do remember ME trying. Inviting him to sporting events because thats the one thing we have in common...we love sports. He showed up to 4 in 4 years...thats including my volleyball senior night. He didnt even stay for the game, or tell me he was proud.
Choices.
He chose to not have relationship with me, or with my sister. Just my brother. He would pick him up, drop him off, buy him things for Christmas and birthdays. The last thing I got for my birthday...a phone call on my 13th birthday with him telling me to change my last name. I wish I would have. (As Im typing this, the song "Only Exception" by Paramore is on...ironic, cuz it fits my life perfectly).
Divorce.
I remember walking into our house to a mess, and seeing my dad covering his face, crying. I knew it right then that it had finally happened. It would soon all be over. Relief, or at least I had hoped. I didnt feel bad that he was crying because he never felt bad when we were. We moved away for a year...then my mom and him tried to work it out.
Abuse.
3am. Kicks on the front door...all the paint off of it was gone. We were renting, so that came out of our pocket. Table coffee thrown. He was kicked out. Another 3am morning...his truck was parked in our backyard. My mom had gone out, and as soon as she got home, chaos began. I was used to it. I was 10 years old and used to it. Sad, right? Cops were called, he was arrested.
Try again...why not? If it was my choice, I would have ran away. But I couldnt hurt my mom. She had been hurt too much. I was at a birthday party for a very good friend, Crystal. My mom called the house and I could tell she was crying. My heart sank. When was enough, enough? She picked me up and he had broke her arm.
FINALLY. It was a motifiying experience, but it was finally over.
Round 2.
Long story short, she married a family friend. He was an emotional abuser, to her and her kids. He had 3 of his own, and were treated like gold compared to us. I didnt understand. At 16, my curfew was 9pm according to him, and I barely saw my friends outside of school. I wasn't allowed on the computer for some reason. Thats just the little stuff. He called us names, called my mom everything imaginable, made her quit her job...with 7 kids in the house...so he could 'work' late at night and she wouldnt have to. Too bad we had our car repoed and he was actually having an affair. I hated him. Still do. Hate is a strong word, but thats the only word that fits.
FINALLY. She kicked him out. My junior year, and we moved, yet again....

Updates!

Well, we finally moved into our house! Last Friday :) WE LOVE IT! Absolutely perfect. 3 bedroom, wood floors, on a half acre, Alyvia has a swing set (which we have played on every night so far!), 2 car garage...we're renting, but it feels like home.

Tash and Talea stayed with me that night to help organize and help put things away; Dev was at the firehouse until Saturday night. I had errands to run Saturday morning, and when I came home, the house was 80% put together! I coouldn't have done it without them. Dev is always, ALWAYS in the garage...he's turned into quite the handy man. I dont know exactly WHAT he does out there, but I know he enjoys having his own space.
I love that the house isnt so CLUTTERED! The apartment got cluttered so quick...but since Alyvia has a playroom, my living room is actually a...LIVING ROOM! :) She loves that it has wood floors. She'll go around "tap dancing" or jumping up and down, laughing at herself. Gotta love her :)

Devon is supposed to hear back from OSU this week about a potential job. He would be a paramedic in the ER. Which I know he will enjoy. The yucky part (minus all the blood and guts he'll see)...he'll be on 12 hour shifts at night :( It IS just 3 nights a week tho. I think we'll be able to manage. Its a little bit more money, AWESOME benefits, and he'll still work at the firehouse about once a week.

Miss Z weezy will be a year old next Friday. Crazy. But its so awesome to see her and Alyvia grow up together. I'm helpin with some decorations for her party tonight, while Dev takes Alyvia home for some daddy-daughter time. He works Saturday morning to Sunday morning. :(

Tomorrow I am going YARD SALING! One of my favorite things to do. Its in my hometown and I always find SOMETHING good. This year, Im aiming for 'big girl' toys for Alyvia, some outdoor toys too, maybe a patio furniture set, and whatever else catches my eye... :)

A few Lyvi updates:
She doesnt hug...she gives you a 'squeeze'. If you ask her for a hug, she wont do it, but if you say "Lyvi, can I have a squeeze?" She'll wrap her arms around your neck and squuuuueeeeze as hard as she can. Adorable.
I have (mistakingly) taught her to point and say no. Woops.
I cannot believe how much this girl can eat. She is such a peanut. Sometimes, I get a little worried about how little she is...(about 21 pounds)...but, Dev and I are petite too. So until a doctor is concerned, I'm not gonna worry about it, too much.
Her favorite things at the zoo: Peguins and Monkeys. She has a little monkey that she carries around and says "AH AH AH!" Hilarious.
She knows absolutely all of her body parts. Proud momma.
When we're in the car, she likes to read to herself. All the way home you hear her jibber jabberin about whatever book she's reading. And if she see's something she recognizes she'll point at it and say it over and over again.
Little booger likes to climb on everything. The other night, she climbed to the TOP of the couch so she could see out the window. Momma had to get a picture before I smacked her butt and told her no... hehe.

I am plannin on putting her in tumble bear gymnastics so she can socialize with new kids her age. She sees and plays with Zoe, Aubree and Jackson...but I would like her to be able to warm up and play with other kids her age, too. I am so excited, she'll love it!