Little Buckeye.

Love letter.

Alyvia has these bath crayons. We practice getting to know our colors, shapes, and doodle when she's in the bathtub. We CANT take a bath without using them. She knows what a circle is -- AKA, ball. Lol. She asks me to draw it and we talk about the shape and color. I write her name and the letter A to show her 'A is for Alyvia' and we write I love you over and over and over again.

Alyvia isnt the only one who likes those crayons. One night this week, she was taking a shower with Daddy and told him she was 'done'. I went in to get her and Dev told me to not come back in cuz he was writting Mommy a letter. Oh gosh, I thought...usually he writes Mommy smells worse than Daddy or Mommy is a weirdo. But this time it was different.

After he got out of the shower I sneaked in there and opened the shower curtain. Instead of a silly remark I saw 'I Love You Because...'

There were about 10 reasons, some of them funny, that Dev listed. One was 'you havent killed me yet'. He makes me laugh everyday....

SOOO BIGG!

This is what we have been telling Alyvia A LOT lately. When we take her shirt off, when she brushes her teeth, says a new word, and most recently...when she uses the BIG GIRL potty! The past week, she's gone a few times all by herself! We'll let her run around nakey, and I think she's starting to understand when its time to 'go'. Last night, all 3 of us were in the bathroom (yes, its a group effort) and Daddy had to go potty (sorry if this is TMI), so we asked Lyvi to sit on the potty and low and behold she had already gone! She walked her happy little butt in there right before all 3 of us ended up in there and went all by herself! She gets a 'stitey' (sticker) everytime she goes...right after we flush the toilet and say 'bye-bye'. She RUNS for the kitchen and asks for one...then we put in on her chart together, clap and say YAY, SOOO BIG! She gets so proud of herself, and I love it.

Granny got her an old school desk. Ive been wanting on for a while. This girl loves to read and color, and Granny ended up finding one at an antique store! I may repaint it, but I havent decided yet. Eventually, I want to get a little table for her play room too...for when we have more kids, and they have friends over. It feels so weird to say that. Play dates, sleep overs...they'll be lots of fun :)

This past weekend we (Talea, Tash & Zoe, Melissa & Logann, and Alyvia & I) made a trip to Marietta for the Sternwheel fest and visited some family. I love it down there. We ate some fair food, visited and met some family we hadn't yet, and watched the awesome fireworks. Im tellin ya, they are better than RR&B! We ended up staying in a hotel and drove home in the morning. We need to go down there more often...nevertheless, it was fun!

Ive had a few rough days...some things I just cant accept or let go of. Some things I dont understand, wonder why, or what if. Im trying, but sometimes, I just explode. I know what is the root of my anger...or should I say the numerous things that are the root of my anger...I just need to learn to not let it effect everything else. Im trying to learn how.

Sunday, Tash took a friend of mine's family photos. She's never had them done so I decided to make it a Christmas gift. Another friend helped me pay for them. Cant wait to see em!

Our family photos are scheduled with S & S on October 16th...Im really excited for them- I have a few ideas and they always do great!

I am totally excited for the Holidays!!! Its going to be such a fun time of the year this year. Well, it always is...but each year gets better than the last!

Tell me this isnt the CUTEST thing you've ever seen...

Miss Alyiva. She will be 19 months in about a week-ish. She has grown into quite the little lady. Check out the bling...necklaces are a MUST. Every single day, at some point in time, she HAS to have a necklace on. Her straight jeans. I just love her little tush in them. And her ballin' Nikes. Pink and Fabulous. She loves shoes, and likes to tap dance with them on our wood floors. The hat, LOVE. She wears it longer than I expect her to...and it just looks so cute on her big ol' head. Her baby blues MELT my heart. And her little 'big' girl smile with all those teeth, I cant get enough :)

Impatience.

So, remember those 'changes' I've been anticipating for a while...well I'll be able to elaborate...tomorrow. Hopefully. Im the most impatient person in the world, so Im pretty proud of myself for letting it go this long.

After almost only 2 weeks of being at his new job, Dev got a $2/hr raise. When he came home last night and told me, I was like...seriously? 'Yep, Im pretty sweet.' His response to everything...lol. I can tell he really likes it, a lot. He's been working 7a-7p's this week...his schedule isn't consistant yet cuz he's still in training. But in about a week or so, it'll be 7p-7a most of the time.

Since Dev's schedule change, he is able to stay home one week day and spend the day with Alyvia. I know he enjoys that. When I came home Tuesday...she was laughing and running around like a crazy woman. I knew she had a good day. We took her to my sister's volleyball game that night...and she was bound and determined to be on that floor playing too! If you dont know, her momma (aka, me!) was quite the volleyball player in high school. And man do I miss it! I really, really, really, really hope she plays too!

Our friends Zack and Kaley will be moving to SC soon... :( Happy for him, he got a job as a firefighter down there, but we have grown pretty close the past year or so. We may take a mini vacation and help them move...and of course, go to the beach!!! They'll be married soon too! We love you guys and are very happy for you!

Saturday is our house warming party. Im excited, but bummed that I sent out more than one email to people asking them to RSVP...and they never did. If you cant come, then RSVP 'Sorry, cant make it!' Dont just leave me hangin'! We're still expectin about 20 people or so...I love grilling out and bon-fires, so it should be fun!

I am so excited to have a 3 day weekend...Labor Day Sales...YES!!!

Better days!

My last post...I was having a horrible day. I will probably elaborate on it more in a later post...but I dont really think anyone reads this anyway so I guess it doesnt matter! LOL.

Devon got a new job at OSUMC as a Paramedic in the ER. You can tell he's going to love it. He'll be working mainly 7p-7a 3 nights a week, with plenty of opportunity for overtime. All the schooling is finally worth it!

Alyvia is growing into this little young lady and it makes me smile all the time. She's very girly when it comes to fashion...she LOVES necklaces, bracelets, hair bows (which she calls 'pretties') and shoes. She loves to get all dressed up and push around her baby stoller. At the same time, she'll go outside all dressed up, then pick up a handful of dirt. Love it.

She is beginning to say her name. She does a pretty good job! It sounds more like 'LivleeA!'

She is in LOVE with the movie Monsters Inc. We watch it once a day...she'll grab the dvd case and walk up to us growling...thats her way of asking to watch it. 'RAWRRRR peeeese!'

Ring around the rosey is her new thing. She loves to spin around in circles and then yell DOWN really loud.

She loves the swing, slide and her water table...and her pet bunny! She calls it 'ba ba nunny'. SO funny.

We got her first pair of Nikes. They make her look so big.

She is in the 40th percentile in her height....but not on the chart for her weight. Oh well!

This past Thursday, we spent the majority of the night in the ER. She basically had an asthma attack. She was breathing twice as many reps as she needed to. They prescribed her an inhaler and steriods. She is much better.

Zoe's birthday party was totally cute. She got lots of goodies and mommy (Tash) did a great job decorating. It has my head spinning with ideas for Alyvia's 2nd birthday already!

We are having a house warming party Sept 4th...so excited for everyone to finally see it :)

'Remember what matters'...thats what Ive been living by these past few days. I love me some words of inspiration.

Secrets.

This isnt necessarily a secret, just something I hate talking about, or admitting to...or even thinking about. I need to vent about it, and feel like not many people listen, or understand...so I'm blogging about it.


Let Down.
Thats something I've been used to. From before I was even born. When my mom was expecting me, my dad wasnt around. When I was born, he didnt want to be in the DR. The earliest memory I have with him...seeing my mom walk up the stairs with a bloody lip. I think I was about 3. Glass thrown at walls, holes in the wall, cops at the house, hitting instead of spanking, yelling instead of talking, fights with my uncle, broken arms, broken hearts...thats what I got from my dad. Nothing but being let down. I dont remember the last kiss I had from him, I dont remember the last time he called. I do remember ME trying. Inviting him to sporting events because thats the one thing we have in common...we love sports. He showed up to 4 in 4 years...thats including my volleyball senior night. He didnt even stay for the game, or tell me he was proud.
Choices.
He chose to not have relationship with me, or with my sister. Just my brother. He would pick him up, drop him off, buy him things for Christmas and birthdays. The last thing I got for my birthday...a phone call on my 13th birthday with him telling me to change my last name. I wish I would have. (As Im typing this, the song "Only Exception" by Paramore is on...ironic, cuz it fits my life perfectly).
Divorce.
I remember walking into our house to a mess, and seeing my dad covering his face, crying. I knew it right then that it had finally happened. It would soon all be over. Relief, or at least I had hoped. I didnt feel bad that he was crying because he never felt bad when we were. We moved away for a year...then my mom and him tried to work it out.
Abuse.
3am. Kicks on the front door...all the paint off of it was gone. We were renting, so that came out of our pocket. Table coffee thrown. He was kicked out. Another 3am morning...his truck was parked in our backyard. My mom had gone out, and as soon as she got home, chaos began. I was used to it. I was 10 years old and used to it. Sad, right? Cops were called, he was arrested.
Try again...why not? If it was my choice, I would have ran away. But I couldnt hurt my mom. She had been hurt too much. I was at a birthday party for a very good friend, Crystal. My mom called the house and I could tell she was crying. My heart sank. When was enough, enough? She picked me up and he had broke her arm.
FINALLY. It was a motifiying experience, but it was finally over.
Round 2.
Long story short, she married a family friend. He was an emotional abuser, to her and her kids. He had 3 of his own, and were treated like gold compared to us. I didnt understand. At 16, my curfew was 9pm according to him, and I barely saw my friends outside of school. I wasn't allowed on the computer for some reason. Thats just the little stuff. He called us names, called my mom everything imaginable, made her quit her job...with 7 kids in the house...so he could 'work' late at night and she wouldnt have to. Too bad we had our car repoed and he was actually having an affair. I hated him. Still do. Hate is a strong word, but thats the only word that fits.
FINALLY. She kicked him out. My junior year, and we moved, yet again....